How To Stop Comparing Yourself

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

I’m sure you’ve heard the quote above. The truth is, that a comparison that is not used for inspiration can hurt us in many ways. In particular, it can make us feel like failures, ungrateful, and unworthy. Ultimately, it kills our self-esteem.

When we remain focused on other people’s lives, we spend less time investing constructive energy on our own. 

As feelings of doubt, fear and sadness broaden, our vibration stays set on frequencies that place us on a path to manifest more of the things that we don’t want. This is why comparison can be more harmful than you might realize.

With the rise of social media apps like Instagram, we can now effortlessly access visual stories of people’s lives, observing some of their greatest captures and moments, including achievements and picture-perfect scenarios.

With this dynamic change, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life against someone else’s highlight reel; or at least a feed that appears to be showing someone’s best moments and angles.

Unconsciously, you may end up believing that there’s something wrong with you and your life. Especially if you don’t look like those who are loved on social media, or if your lifestyle doesn’t resemble theirs. 

If you witness people receiving a lot of admiration for the way they look or the things they have, you may feel like you’re missing out.

A Method that will help to stop comparing

People always ask, how they can stop comparing themselves to other people on social media – and generally in life. As much as I’d like to say, “Just don’t do it,” here’s a simple 5-step method I’ve created.

1. Awareness

As simple as this sounds, you first need to become aware that you’re doing it. So many of us compare ourselves without realizing that we are. 

You have to consciously tune in to your thoughts and say to yourself, “Wait a min, I’m comparing myself…”

Sometimes, it can be healthy to compare yourself – for example, when you want to be inspired to work harder. 

However, pay attention to how the thought of comparison makes you feel because this is the determining factor. If you suddenly feel uncomfortable or a little disheartened, then it’s lowering your vibration and it’s unhealthy for you.

 2. Pause

Pause and give yourself reasons as to why it isn’t valid to compare your life against theirs. For example, you don’t know everyone’s story – such as what someone went through to get what they have. 

You don’t know for sure if it’s real. You don’t know where they are on their path.

⬤  Also, remind yourself here:

➤ No one is perfect

➤ The idea of perfection is subjective

➤ Everyone has insecurities.

➤ Finally, don’t forget to tell yourself that life is not a competition as everyone is on their own journey; and yours is unaffected by theirs.

3. Blessings

Change your focus by remembering 3 things that you’re blessed to have. You don’t have it all, but you certainly do have blessings in your life; food, water, shelter, and friends may be among these things. 

There are people out there who have it far worse than you and would love to be in your shoes.

Remember, we can never be happy unless we’re grateful for what we have at any point in our lives. Lasting happiness does not come from the external world, but instead, from our perception of it.

4. Uniqueness

Now think of 3 things that make you unique and special – these are qualities that you possess. For example, I could view someone who is excellent at communicating their ideas verbally, and as a result, I may feel like I’m not very good. 

However, I can remind myself that I can articulate deep thoughts that connect with people when it comes to written communication. If I was in my wife’s shoes, I might think about how infectious I am with my bright and bubbly nature.

There are so many things about you that make you stand out. You’re so used to seeing everything that you’re not, that you forget to look at everything that you are.

5. Successes

Finally, remember 3 things that you’ve achieved at any point in your life, and then take a moment to re-live the experience of those successes in your mind.

” Attention “

Whatever you do, don’t mentally knock others down to make yourself feel better throughout this process. Using the ego in this way to build yourself up is destructive to your energetic state. 

Also, try not to convince yourself that others don’t deserve what they have; bitterness will only block your blessings. I try to live by these words:

Less Competition, More Appreciation.

This process is about awareness, reasoning, and changing your focus in an empowering way. 

Essentially, you should feel a positive shift in your vibration. The more you do this, the less you will find yourself comparing your life to others. 

The magic number in this process is three: this is the number of reasons you need to find in steps 3-5. However, the more you do it, the more you may struggle with finding reasons, so in this case, just think of what you can! Stop comparing.

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